Opportunity is knocking! Are you ready to open the door? Right this minute, your soul mate could be looking for you on TRUE, but if your profile and photo look like you don’t care, your soul mate won’t care either.

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All’s fair in love and war, right? I can be your secret weapon to help you win the heart of the guy or girl you’ve been looking for your whole life.

Your profile and photo are your dating resume. They say to the world, “this is what I think of myself” – they represent you each time somebody runs a search. You have to show the world that you think you’re wonderful, otherwise, who will want to meet you?

This week, let’s look at the piece of your profile that describes who you want to meet. With the investment of a little extra thought and effort, you could have a profile so sparkling that your soul mate will read it and think, “Bingo!” But it’s your choice. If you don’t care that the love you’ve been seeking will pass you by, will just click “next” and keep going, then don’t bother reading any further.

Believe me, I know how it is: you’re signing up for TRUE, clicking through those fun multiple-choice questions, uploading your photos. Then, all of a sudden, you’re faced with these glaring, empty boxes into which you’re expected to pour all your ideas about love and life. No wonder you came down with writer’s block! However, skimping on this vital step could cost you TRUE love.

But never fear – we're here for you! Look for the EasyWriter box on the page where you add your headline and profile info, and just click GO. We'll help you write a great headline and fill out your profile.

Get the scoop!

For more tips on making TRUE work for you, visit the TRUE Coaching Center. Welcome to Ask Fite – a column dedicated to answering your questions about TRUE, profiles, chat rooms, winks and email. I’m Fite. I’m a real person, and it’s my job to help you improve your profile. Write me! I'm here to help. Send an email to Fite right now! Ready to find someone? Search now>>

If you'd rather do it on your own, here are some key points to remember.

The more requirements you list, the lower the chance that you’ll find someone who actually meets all of them. If you expect perfection, or if your profile looks like a job description, you look shallow. Keep your options open. The idea is to get as many potential partners in the door as possible, then decide who’s worth exploring. Let’s get them interested, then weed them out. Even on the things you think are a must – don’t limit yourself. How do you know your soul mate isn’t completely different from the person you’ve always imagined? Have you been limiting yourself all this time?

Don’t start out with a shopping list.

“I’d like to meet a man who’s over 6 feet tall with dark hair and green eyes. He’s driven and successful in his career, a great conversationalist, an accomplished tennis player and a family man. Must be a sharp dresser (no jeans!) and dedicated to working out in the gym at least twice a week.”

Do paint a picture of who you’re looking for.

It’s OK to talk about traits you’re interested in.

“The woman I’m looking for is intelligent, down to earth, independent and compassionate. She’s enjoys both physical and mental exercise, and she’s just as comfortable rollerblading in the park as she is having a spirited discussion about politics or art. She’s at home in her own skin, confident, and occasionally enjoys getting dressed to the nines for a night on the town.”

Don’t share too much, especially about previous relationships.

Your profile isn’t about your past – it’s about your future! Even if you’re still really burned up about that ex-girlfriend from college who threw out all of your Van Halen T-shirts by mistake, resist the urge to say “The woman I’m looking for will stay out of my laundry.” It just sounds weird.

Do think outside the box.

Include a reference to something you’re passionate about, a particular turn-on or even a favorite TV show. You need to give people a way to start a conversation with you. You might even end up with some great new friends this way – someone you might not want to date could still drop you an email just to say, “Hey, I’m an ‘X-Files’ buff, too!” Or you could spark a connection with someone simply based on a shared obsession. You never know! Try something fun and flirty like this at the end of your description:

“Bonus points if you’re into cheesy B-grade horror movies, or if you could sit and watch ‘The Family Guy’ for hours on end.”

Don’t be negative.

Your profile is the place to say what you do want in a relationship, not what you don’t want. If you list a bunch of qualities you’re trying to avoid, everyone will avoid you.

“No baggage, no mind games, no drama, no pets, no kids.” No thanks.

Do address the person reading your profile directly.

Write your profile as though you were talking to your ideal partner face to face. That way, it’s easy for the person reading to imagine an actual conversation with you. You’ll seem more real, and because you’ve taken the time to describe the other person, you’ll also get the message across that you’re giving and attentive. Besides, who doesn’t like hearing about him or herself?

“You love to laugh, and you’ll even graciously crack up at my corny jokes. You appreciate great food and good company. You’re up for anything, whether that’s a rainy night, a stack of classic films and a bottle of Pinot Noir, or a weekend at a giant amusement park in search of the wildest rollercoaster. You’re also game for teaching me about your own interests: you name it, I’m there!”

Now that you’ve filled out your narratives and you’ve got a profile that’s casual, fun-to-read and flirtatious, get out there and wink at some members. Let them know you’re ready for prime time. Try a minimum of 20 winks a day to increase action in your mailbox.

All dating is, to some degree, a numbers game. You’ve got to try on a lot of potential partners before you find one that fits just right. Use this to your advantage as you search for love on TRUE: The more you try on, and the more you’re willing to check out, the quicker you get to your perfect partner.

Let me help you with your profile! Email me!

Want me to use your profile in an upcoming column? Email me! But don’t worry – unless you give me permission to use your profile for a column (with names and identifying details changed), everything we discuss will remain confidential.

More tips on improving your profile:

• Webcams can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. Here's help. more >> • Make sure you're getting all your TRUE email! more >> • Expert advice on the ABC's of meeting scores of singles on TRUE. more >> • Use these questions to write your profile. more >> • Get to know someone with Virtual Dating. more >> • Find the right person for you right now. more >> • Ask Fite: So you're a Maverick. Now what? more >> • Go from online to in person. more >> • Ask Fite: Will you click behind closed doors? more >> • Write an irresistible headline. more >> • Find that cutie and generate some heat! more >> • TRUE's profile coach can help you find your soul mate. more >> • Why uploading a photo will get you more winks and emails. more >> • Your pic should match the season. more >> • Videochat: The fastest way to see if they're really hot. more >> • About You: How to write your Who I'd Like to Meet description. more >> • About Me: How to write your About Me description. more >> • How do I love TRUE? Let me count the ways. more >> • Here are the top 3 ways to get active on TRUE. more >> • Truly amazing 3-word headlines. more >> • 12 tips to make your photo picture-perfect! more >> • What to write to get your soul mate's attention. more >> • Want more people to view you profile? Here's how. more >> • Your Valentine's looking for you. more >>