Karin Bruckner is a single-parent expert, author, instructor, researcher and licensed psychotherapist with an expertise in such key areas as family and marital conflict, divorce and blended family issues, adolescent issues, anger management and women's issues.

Single parents are miracle workers.

You handle career, children, extended family and ex-spouses – all while trying to build and sustain a healthy social life for yourselves. All this juggling can result in a significant amount of stress.

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Dear Karin,
I'm a single mom. I have 13 children (seven at home). I chat or communicate with men for a while – even build a relationship – but as soon as they find out about my family they run for the hills. I'm lonely and want to find a soul mate, but it's just too much for men to handle. Is there a solution?

Name withheld by request

Let the bulk of men run for the hills! You don't need a large number of prospects – you only need one good match. It can take anyone a great deal of time to find someone that is a good fit.

Having circumstances that are out of the norm simply makes the search a little tougher. I'm amazed you have the time and energy to even pursue romantic prospects with seven children at home!

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I don't have as many children as you, and I'm pretty much brain dead just handling the kids I have! You are to be congratulated for being such a fantastic and caring mother, as well as for refusing to neglect your own personal happiness.

It's easy to feel lonely while waiting for one person who's a great fit, but being single has many advantages and adventures in its own right.

Learn to enjoy the single life! Once you do that, I think you'll find that the right type of person will find you.

Yes, your circumstances may not be a good fit for the wants or needs of some men, but you will find success in due course if you remain honest and forthright about yourself. In this way, you will attract the man who fits with you and your family.

Dear Karin,
I just got divorced about seven months ago and I've tried dating other women. But how do I move on with my life and get back into dating without feeling like I'm cheating on my ex- wife? We tried to work things out, but we weren't happy because of in-laws getting involved with our married life.

Plus, I have a little girl who's 3 years old. How do I bring her into the picture so she understands why Daddy's not with Mom anymore, and that he has a new partner?

Name withheld by request

I know what you're getting at, so let me be blunt. It sounds like you're not over your ex-wife.

The red flag that suggests this to me is the fact that you still feel like you're cheating on her as you explore dating again, and it sounds like your relationship did not end because the love between you two died. Rather, you refer to problems instigated by your in-laws.

Maybe you really don't want to find someone else. Could it be that you simply want different circumstances surrounding you, your marriage and family?

It would be wise to carefully think this over, and I encourage you to consider talking privately and at length with your ex.

People can take control of their circumstances with the right encouragement, support and resources. It might mean that you two agree and stand up to your in-laws by setting firm limits, or it may mean marital counseling.

You can find some excellent professionals through the Therapist Directory from Psychology Today. Many couples decide to visit a counselor at one point or another in their relationship – it really can be quite helpful.

As you explore the real issues affecting you, I suggest you keep up with what you're already doing – showing care, love and attention to your little girl. She is probably too young to understand the impact of these adult issues, but she should be reminded at every opportunity that what is happening is not her fault, and that you and your ex-wife love her and put her first in your lives.

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