The top four New Year’s resolutions are: to increase exercise, be more conscientious about work or school, to develop better eating habits and to stop smoking, drinking or using drugs (including caffeine).

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However, research shows that more singles are making a firm resolution to find love in the new year. This is great news: Many studies attest to the important health benefits of loving relationships. This year TRUE offers tips to help you in your New Year’s resolution to find that special person.

These are not random tips, but rather a systematic collection of calculated steps that are a mixture of breaking old habits and starting new ones. Follow these in order, and they’ll get you going down the right path. Your journey starts from the inside out.

On the Inside: Finding the right partner first means finding yourself

1. Take time to get to know yourself: People change without always realizing it. It is crucial to take periodic breaks to participate in exercises or activities that will help you understand more about yourself. Tips include frequent times for meditation or reflection, a vacation for one or completing a personality assessment such as the TRUE Compatibility Test .
2. Begin to accept and love yourself: Think about it, you’re the only person who’s with you
   24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365¼ days a year. It’s crucial for you to start perceiving and treating yourself as your best friend. Increase your positive self-talk to focus on the tremendous qualities you have, as well as the qualities you’re striving to foster in yourself.
3. Get to know what you really need in a relationship: People make the same relationship mistakes over and over. We are truly creatures of habit. We act on what is familiar and comfortable to us, even though it may not be what is best for us. Take time to discover and reflect on what it is you really need in a partner. Once those needs are clarified objectively, you’ll better recognize suitable prospects when you meet them. You’ll also focus your energy on pursuing prospects more efficiently. One objective way to understanding your relationship needs is to take the TRUE Compatibility Test.
4. Be true to yourself: This can be an incredibly difficult step. Society cries buckets of tears when Whitney Houston sings “loving yourself is the greatest love of all,” but in reality we all receive horrible guilt trips and are anointed with the label “selfish” when we actually try to pursue personal happiness rather than meeting the expectations of others. Remember, you must be your own best friend. You are the only person who is there to support you every moment of your life. Ricky Nelson was right when he sang, “you can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself.” You’ll never be happy trying to be something you are not. If you are not at personal peace, then you will never be able to give peace and love to others.
5. Mentally give yourself praise every morning, noon and night: Once you begin to know, accept and love yourself, you can objectively identify what you need in a relationship. Then you can resolve not to settle for less, and you must back that intention with daily affirmations. Daily affirmations sound corny, but they can be powerful reinforcements of a positive mental attitude. Affirmations are your mind’s way of practicing what you’re preaching. Think of it as supporting and encouraging your best friend (that’s you, remember?). A consistently positive mental attitude is needed as you now start acting on the transformation taking place inside of you.
   

   On the Outside: Finding the right partner means enjoying the active search for prospects as a happy and fulfilled single

   Be True to Yourself Expert advice on 20 ways to boost your self-confidence. continue >>

6. Increase or improve your grooming: Reinforce your feelings of internal attractiveness with action. Take special care to look and be your best at all times, because of the respect you have for yourself. Looking good amplifies the increased self-esteem you’re feeling from the steps above, and you’ll notice an increased sense of personal competence as well. So, keep a comb, facial cleanser, and some breath mints handy. Don’t get obsessive about it, but check your appearance throughout the day and make sure your outer self is consistent with your inner self.
7. Surround yourself with reinforcements of confidence and attractiveness: Just as you take care to look your best in order to reinforce and express your internal attractiveness, you must also take the same approach with your environment. You’ll consistently feel more upbeat, positive, personally competent and attractive if the cues from your environment are telling you you’re attractive and competent. If you’ve not made your house or apartment your home, consider doing so. Fill your home with things that reflect who you are. Many single’s homes are nothing more than storage for their stuff. Does the art you choose say “This is me?” Buy some. Add some color to your home or light candles in the evening to add an attractive ambiance. Let gift-givers know what you would like for your home. Set needs aside for once and focus on wants. Take the same approach to your workplace. And, listening to your favorite music at every opportunity will elevate your mood and sustain it. And don’t forget to sing along to your favorite songs – it’s a form of exercise that is great for stress reduction.
8. Change aspects of your daily routine – it’s now time to take some risks: You’ve changed your psychological mindset and you’ve changed your immediate environment to reinforce that mindset. Now, you must change your environment even more. Do something different every day or week so you naturally are in the position of meeting new people in new places. Expand your social boundaries at a pace that is most comfortable to you. Take a different way home from work and stop off at a café, choose a different store or mall to visit, go to lunch with co-workers you don’t know well, or ask strangers in a clothing store for advice on what looks good on you. Change your routine so you can become comfortable taking risks and meeting new people.
9. Take initiative: You need not be a super-extrovert, but it’s up to you to make your reality. Rather than passively waiting on opportunity to appear, actively explore the dating pool as a confident single who feels and acts attractive. Allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to meet new people. Introduce yourself to new people at work, help others when appropriate in the grocery store, start up a conversation in the elevator or on an escalator, initiate more email and chat with online daters, and remember to be polite and positive to everyone you meet. This is what a person with high self-esteem and personal competence looks like!
10. Allow yourself simply to have fun getting to know people: The real secret to finding love is to first find happiness as a single person. That is, when you come to love yourself and enjoy who you are right now, you naturally look and act attractive to others (including romantic prospects). Thus, don’t approach dating like a sport with a time clock. Stop thinking of and focusing on long-term outcomes. Enjoy the process of dating – the adventure of meeting new people, going new places and learning new things. If you allow yourself simply to enjoy yourself and others’ company, then you’ll take the right kind of risks that allow you to grow as a person. This process of growing as a person will increase the odds of meeting compatible individuals and soon attract the right person to you.

Learn more now

Take our free TRUE Compatibility Test (TCT) to learn more about yourself and your ideal partner. You’ll receive a free 30-page personality report that explains how your traits, attitudes and abilities influence your connections with others. For more expert tips on building a great relationship click here.